genlisae: (confused)
[personal profile] genlisae
That is my confused icon, though I am not actually confused. I am not sure what I am. In that case, perhaps I am confused after all?

I poofed again. Busy with growing things and etc. etc., the usual "life stuff". I was actually going to post a few weeks ago, an update to RBPV. Was way over-due and I had actually played several updates ahead. I opened my game to take the cover shot I needed, decided to sort some bin sims into house, put housed sims into the houses they are supposed to be in rather than the one that they were in, went to move a family out ... and accidentally moved the occupied house to the bin. *facedeskpalm!* (that is what you do when you have done something way more stupid than could ever be expressed by a headdesk or a facepalm alone).

So I did some reading up on exactly how big the giant firey ball I had just turned my hood into was likely to be (is pretty big by the way) and came across the definative list of how to corrupt your hood and realized I have been doing a whole bunch of them all along (did you know moving a lot that had EVER been occupied, even after you move the sims out, to the bin is bad? I didn't. Or removing a multi-poliniation technician package, apparently even changing multi-poli-tech mods is bad.) and that probably explains how my hoods keep ending up being all buggy.

Long story short, I have no hood again. The warning signs are there already. I tried sorting a few of them out only to keep finding more. Finally I just sighed and deleted the damn thing (by which I mean back up a copy just in case I ever get energetic enough to try fixing it again, and then deleted the original). I have since started again with all new clean hood templates and building my own uberhood. I have no idea on a timeline. Not even a guess. I do want to finish Pleasantries in one form or another at some point, I just don't know when, because, honestly, I just don't feel like writing.

No idea what I do feel like doing, recently I have been passing my spare time by reading medical journals again. This is not usually a good thing. The learning is good, the mental state when this type of reading is enjoyable is perhaps not so good. Is a very clinical, detached mindset. Not at all creative or even emotional. I kind of wander around like some sort of android ... or maybe a rock. That is probably closer. I currently have the emotional arsenal of a boulder. It will pass. Eventually, somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of my psyche, whatever it was that triggered the whole scenario in the first place will be resolved (usually without my knowledge) and I will be back to normal.

Is this healthy? Probably not. Is it fun? For the people around me, decidedly not. They have a tendency to look at me like I have been happily setting puppies ablaze while whistling a jaunty tune and dancing a jig. I have no opinion on the enjoyability of my current mental state one way or another, except that it will pass. Later I will be puzzled and perplexed when I think back and wonder why I wasn't angry when ____ happened, or why I didn't laugh when _______, because it will be funny as hell looking back. For now I just am and I think that is okay.


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June 2015

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