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Let me spell it out for you...
I made a post a few days ago about something that really irked me. I will not go into details of the post again. It was not a public post. This one is. Essentially that post asked the question: "Why is it okay to ask an authority figure if they are gay when most people would agree asking the same question of a straight person is rude and disrespectful?"
That post resulted in a ridiculous amount of private messages defending the position of "Well if they are gay I want to know!" I understand curiosity, I get that, but let me put this in a different perspective for you. Would you ever walk up to a presumed straight male authority figure and ask "Do you like tits?" or more accurately "Do you fuck women?" How about a presumed straight female and ask if she likes cock?
I think most of us would agree that these are simply not things that you ask of anyone that you are not personally planning to have a sexual relationship with (or playing matchmaker for someone else). Why? They are simply none of your damn business. Yet they are fundamentally the same question as "Are you gay?". Having the answer to that question, in this context, will not effect your working relationship with this person one way or the other, thus it is not a question you should be asking.
A few other things in those messages irritated the hell out of me (yes, this is a sore topic for me can you tell?) specifically the one from someone who is no longer on my friends list and has been banned from my journal that said: "It is this kind of attitude that makes all those gays feel like they can keep bullying us normal people in to giving into their demands."
Consider this my official coming out, I am pan-sexual.
As for "This kind of attitude" there is not enough of my attitude in the world! If there was children would not be kicked out of their supposed "loving homes" simply because their parents found out they were gay. A lesbian woman's children would not have been denied the last chance to see their mother as she lay dying in a Florida hospital because that state did not recognize same sex relationships and thus did not acknowledge the legal adoption of the children.
When being gay is no longer a cause to worry if you will some day be accused of "corrupting" someone's child, or having bricks thrown through your window, or worse (it is still a death sentence in a lot of places, here's a tip for you, It is probably closer to home than you think!) then you can talk to me about "This kind of attitude".
When you have been called down to a morgue to identify your best friend's body and you are the only person they can find to contact because his family has disowned him and you have to look at him laying there after he has been beaten to death almost beyond the ability to recognize but the words "Faggot" and "Burn in Hell Homo" are perfectly clear where they were carved into his skin, then you can talk to me about "This kind of attitude."
For the record, he was very much alive when his murders carved those words. They bled, a lot. He felt every slice of the razor blade. When that shit no longer happens you can talk to me about my attitude. Until then I don't want to hear it.
That post resulted in a ridiculous amount of private messages defending the position of "Well if they are gay I want to know!" I understand curiosity, I get that, but let me put this in a different perspective for you. Would you ever walk up to a presumed straight male authority figure and ask "Do you like tits?" or more accurately "Do you fuck women?" How about a presumed straight female and ask if she likes cock?
I think most of us would agree that these are simply not things that you ask of anyone that you are not personally planning to have a sexual relationship with (or playing matchmaker for someone else). Why? They are simply none of your damn business. Yet they are fundamentally the same question as "Are you gay?". Having the answer to that question, in this context, will not effect your working relationship with this person one way or the other, thus it is not a question you should be asking.
A few other things in those messages irritated the hell out of me (yes, this is a sore topic for me can you tell?) specifically the one from someone who is no longer on my friends list and has been banned from my journal that said: "It is this kind of attitude that makes all those gays feel like they can keep bullying us normal people in to giving into their demands."
Consider this my official coming out, I am pan-sexual.
As for "This kind of attitude" there is not enough of my attitude in the world! If there was children would not be kicked out of their supposed "loving homes" simply because their parents found out they were gay. A lesbian woman's children would not have been denied the last chance to see their mother as she lay dying in a Florida hospital because that state did not recognize same sex relationships and thus did not acknowledge the legal adoption of the children.
When being gay is no longer a cause to worry if you will some day be accused of "corrupting" someone's child, or having bricks thrown through your window, or worse (it is still a death sentence in a lot of places, here's a tip for you, It is probably closer to home than you think!) then you can talk to me about "This kind of attitude".
When you have been called down to a morgue to identify your best friend's body and you are the only person they can find to contact because his family has disowned him and you have to look at him laying there after he has been beaten to death almost beyond the ability to recognize but the words "Faggot" and "Burn in Hell Homo" are perfectly clear where they were carved into his skin, then you can talk to me about "This kind of attitude."
For the record, he was very much alive when his murders carved those words. They bled, a lot. He felt every slice of the razor blade. When that shit no longer happens you can talk to me about my attitude. Until then I don't want to hear it.
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And it's not ok to harass people with questions about their sexuality! If people want you to know about that you will be told.
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Love,
Pekky