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Okay, I'm spamming today, I know this. It happens (mostly I am out of other distractions). I need help.
Think of the biggest douchebisket you know. That one person that just grabs on to your last nerve with their undeserved superiority complex and uses it as a bungee cord (Your last nerve, not their complex. Someone needs to use their complex as a bungee cord. Possibly their spinal cord as well ...).
Got the fuckwit in mind?
So, when said dung dwelling rectal wart is all up in someone's face and the poor sod who has got their attention says something that is mostly harmless but the scuzzwanker is going to take exception to it, in their usual uppity I-am-so-much-better-than-you-you-should-thank-me-if-I-shit-on-you way (For those of you who are getting a little too far into the visualization here, you know kind of like I am, fight down the rage! It's okay. Breathe.), what do they say?
See, for me, my particular human version of a nasty case of crabs was a master of the insincere apology. You know: "I'm sorry. What was that?" Said in that nerve grating, jaw clenching, I-just-really-want-to-smash-your-face-in-with-an-anthrax-encrusted-spoon, nasal voice.
And. It. Always. Ended. With. The. Sniff!
The holier-than-thou fucking sniff!
ARGH!
(Sorry, better now.)
The person I am trying to write? Same asshole attitude but would not use the insincere apology. I'm kind of stuck in the headspace of the one though and I need examples of other douchebaggery things people say in a similar situation.
Pretty please?
Think of the biggest douchebisket you know. That one person that just grabs on to your last nerve with their undeserved superiority complex and uses it as a bungee cord (Your last nerve, not their complex. Someone needs to use their complex as a bungee cord. Possibly their spinal cord as well ...).
Got the fuckwit in mind?
So, when said dung dwelling rectal wart is all up in someone's face and the poor sod who has got their attention says something that is mostly harmless but the scuzzwanker is going to take exception to it, in their usual uppity I-am-so-much-better-than-you-you-should-thank-me-if-I-shit-on-you way (For those of you who are getting a little too far into the visualization here, you know kind of like I am, fight down the rage! It's okay. Breathe.), what do they say?
See, for me, my particular human version of a nasty case of crabs was a master of the insincere apology. You know: "I'm sorry. What was that?" Said in that nerve grating, jaw clenching, I-just-really-want-to-smash-your-face-in-with-an-anthrax-encrusted-spoon, nasal voice.
And. It. Always. Ended. With. The. Sniff!
The holier-than-thou fucking sniff!
ARGH!
(Sorry, better now.)
The person I am trying to write? Same asshole attitude but would not use the insincere apology. I'm kind of stuck in the headspace of the one though and I need examples of other douchebaggery things people say in a similar situation.
Pretty please?
no subject
The know-it-all-douchebag is one I know well. She's my step-mother. This type also gets a lovely condescending look in their eye. It's my favorite.
no subject