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genlisaeI have been putting this post off until I was in a better mood, or at least a better mind-frame to talk about it. My unanswered messages are piling up though which means it is probably beyond time for an explanation as to why. For those of you on the f-list that also fall into the category of "family" this is all the talking about it I will be doing. Anything else you want to know, talk to mom or Matt. I have the option to not deal with it right now. I am using it.
First the good news. The lump in my lung is exactly that. It is essentially a bunch of lung cells that decided to hang around in one place with a bunch of scar tissue and be lumpy. Also harmless. I DO NOT HAVE LUNG CANCER, so you can stop giving me those worried looks you don't think I am noticing, (This is obviously directed at the "family/offline friends" portion of the f-list. Yeah, I saw those).
Other, I-don't-even-know-WTF news: My neurosurgeon is unwilling to go ahead with surgery. The medication I have been taking to control the headaches that are the prime symptom of my Chiari (as well as the sheer volume of said medication) have had adverse effects on other areas. Specifically I am a lot mere sedentary than I used to be. Obviously this has had an impact on my over-all health. Being limited to pretty much sitting on your ass for the last year because if you move too much you get dizzy and fall over will do that. It was supposed to be temporary, a few months at most while waiting for surgery. It has now been over a year. (if you want the rest of the story, it is all on this journal somewhere, in all it's frustrating, "OMG, WTF NOW!?" glory, check the tags).
I am exploring my options and looking for second/third opinions. The most logical option is to stop taking the medication and get back in a better state of health. The catch there of course being that if I do that I become a mindless zombie under the full effects of a full on 24/7 searing migraine and during the rare coherent moments it is only coherent enough to tell people (quietly) to shut the hell up, my head hurts. I would like to avoid this if at all possible. It doesn't make me popular with those around me, last time we did this my daughter suffered the most and I have kind of gotten used to higher brain function in the past year.
Other medications are also being looked into all of which will take time if they have any effect at all and of course meanwhile the secondary symptoms continue to progress. I almost had a complete breakdown the other day when I noticed I could no longer feel the back of my left hand anymore ... but that is probably not something I should get into here. I will NOT lose it over this.
Like I said, I have the option to not deal with this right now while my GP explores other avenues. I am choosing to go with that option. In the mean time I have been (and will continue to) focus on writing. Pleasantries first and foremost. It has become my stability.
I haven't been answering messages. I haven't been in the best of moods and don't want to unintentionally take that out on anyone else. I don't want you to think I am ignoring you either. Bear with me. I will get back to you. :)
First the good news. The lump in my lung is exactly that. It is essentially a bunch of lung cells that decided to hang around in one place with a bunch of scar tissue and be lumpy. Also harmless. I DO NOT HAVE LUNG CANCER, so you can stop giving me those worried looks you don't think I am noticing, (This is obviously directed at the "family/offline friends" portion of the f-list. Yeah, I saw those).
Other, I-don't-even-know-WTF news: My neurosurgeon is unwilling to go ahead with surgery. The medication I have been taking to control the headaches that are the prime symptom of my Chiari (as well as the sheer volume of said medication) have had adverse effects on other areas. Specifically I am a lot mere sedentary than I used to be. Obviously this has had an impact on my over-all health. Being limited to pretty much sitting on your ass for the last year because if you move too much you get dizzy and fall over will do that. It was supposed to be temporary, a few months at most while waiting for surgery. It has now been over a year. (if you want the rest of the story, it is all on this journal somewhere, in all it's frustrating, "OMG, WTF NOW!?" glory, check the tags).
I am exploring my options and looking for second/third opinions. The most logical option is to stop taking the medication and get back in a better state of health. The catch there of course being that if I do that I become a mindless zombie under the full effects of a full on 24/7 searing migraine and during the rare coherent moments it is only coherent enough to tell people (quietly) to shut the hell up, my head hurts. I would like to avoid this if at all possible. It doesn't make me popular with those around me, last time we did this my daughter suffered the most and I have kind of gotten used to higher brain function in the past year.
Other medications are also being looked into all of which will take time if they have any effect at all and of course meanwhile the secondary symptoms continue to progress. I almost had a complete breakdown the other day when I noticed I could no longer feel the back of my left hand anymore ... but that is probably not something I should get into here. I will NOT lose it over this.
Like I said, I have the option to not deal with this right now while my GP explores other avenues. I am choosing to go with that option. In the mean time I have been (and will continue to) focus on writing. Pleasantries first and foremost. It has become my stability.
I haven't been answering messages. I haven't been in the best of moods and don't want to unintentionally take that out on anyone else. I don't want you to think I am ignoring you either. Bear with me. I will get back to you. :)
