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Mom, we need to talk.
Jun. 29th, 2011 12:21 amIt has come to my attention there are several countries in the world where chocolate is totally a breakfast food.
The Philippines, Belgium (here, I am told, it is not uncommon for bread or toast to be served with a bar of chocolate. A BAR, Mom, bar of chocolate), Netherlands (chocolate sprinkles, chocolate flakes and chocolate spread), France (chocolate AND coffee!), Croatia, Spain ... Spain needs some extra attention here for a moment: chocolate con churros! Chocolate con churros, Mom! Additionally, Cola Cao (a high energy chocolate drink with vitamins and minerals) is also a popular breakfast beverage. In Greece and Brazil I found it is 100% acceptable for children to drink chocolate milk ... for breakfast!
After having this information come to my attention, Mother, I am forced to conclude that for the entirety of my childhood - you. were. wrong!
Now I know what you are going to say: "Chocolate is not breakfast!" I know you are going to say it because I have heard you say it many, many times as I am sure your mother also said it. I am proposing Grandma was wrong too, as was I every time I have told my own daughter "chocolate is not breakfast!"
I further propose that we must immediately rectify what is apparently an error spanning generations.
The plan:
In the interest of international fellowship and understanding it is imperative we immediately start eating chocolate, in as many of it's glorious forms as we can find, for breakfast. Every day. Starting tomorrow.
I know I personally have 34 years of this horrible misunderstanding to make amends for and you have nearly twice that many. This is going to require a lot of chocolate. In that regard I would like to amend this proposal with the stipulation that we not tell the child. She has only 10 years of error to rectify thus far and can afford to discover the error of her ways on her own. (Also, you know how she can inhale chocolate).
As I know you are an intelligent woman who fully believes in fellowship and international understanding, I am counting on your support and participation in this endeavor. It isn't too late, Mom, we can fix this
The Philippines, Belgium (here, I am told, it is not uncommon for bread or toast to be served with a bar of chocolate. A BAR, Mom, bar of chocolate), Netherlands (chocolate sprinkles, chocolate flakes and chocolate spread), France (chocolate AND coffee!), Croatia, Spain ... Spain needs some extra attention here for a moment: chocolate con churros! Chocolate con churros, Mom! Additionally, Cola Cao (a high energy chocolate drink with vitamins and minerals) is also a popular breakfast beverage. In Greece and Brazil I found it is 100% acceptable for children to drink chocolate milk ... for breakfast!
After having this information come to my attention, Mother, I am forced to conclude that for the entirety of my childhood - you. were. wrong!
Now I know what you are going to say: "Chocolate is not breakfast!" I know you are going to say it because I have heard you say it many, many times as I am sure your mother also said it. I am proposing Grandma was wrong too, as was I every time I have told my own daughter "chocolate is not breakfast!"
I further propose that we must immediately rectify what is apparently an error spanning generations.
The plan:
In the interest of international fellowship and understanding it is imperative we immediately start eating chocolate, in as many of it's glorious forms as we can find, for breakfast. Every day. Starting tomorrow.
I know I personally have 34 years of this horrible misunderstanding to make amends for and you have nearly twice that many. This is going to require a lot of chocolate. In that regard I would like to amend this proposal with the stipulation that we not tell the child. She has only 10 years of error to rectify thus far and can afford to discover the error of her ways on her own. (Also, you know how she can inhale chocolate).
As I know you are an intelligent woman who fully believes in fellowship and international understanding, I am counting on your support and participation in this endeavor. It isn't too late, Mom, we can fix this
