This post was supposed to be about day 2 of round 3

It so isn't, except to say that day 2 of round 3 for chemo was not fun and as often happens when I have not had fun I loose myself in obscure movies.

For the record, I am Number Four is a perfect example of how to take a good idea and do it wrong. I have hope for the books, but as those are still downloading, I can't comment yet.

On completely the other side of the spectrum, FAQ About Time Travel is a perfect example of a good idea, done REALLY well. Low budget, sure (and one of the points critics argued against the film. No shit, they critiqued the budget!) but otherwise brilliant and fun and funny British sci-fi (oh, sorry, "Science Fiction" :P) comedy. Watch it. You will not regret it .. or maybe you will but will get a few laughs along the way.

*ETA* Just to make this a little more about what it was supposed to be about, while I am generally not having fun (little things like the upset stomach never acutally left, and the cough I developed round about day 2 of the last round is only helped by taking 4 codine a day ... and still managing to cough up blood anyway), I am happy to report I do not have a bestest stabby friend this time. I have finally managed to convince the nurses that while their intent is to do me a favour and only stab me once per cycle, leaving the IV in is really not in my best interest. I am a klutz and smacking said IV on like the bottom of the cabinet shelves ... yeah that hurts. Hurts a lot when I not only smack it but manage to wedge the IV further into the vein ... and frequently right out the other side resulting in bruising (one of which hasn't gone away from round 2 ... 3 weeks ago) and them having to redo it again the next day anyway because the one they left in doesn't work anymore. Convincing them has been easy, I just go directly to the sink and soak my arm before I even sit down in my chair, only soak the left arm and follow that up with showing them the bruise on the back of my right hand, which I am happy to report is finally fading as of today..

I understand why they want to just leave it in, really. I get that it usually (sans klutz and the whole having to redo anyway thing) makes it quicker for them and a lot of people are needle-phobic. I am not one of them. You really do get used to it and between all the bloodtests, the CT scans, The PET scans and the bizzillion (only a slight exaggeration) other random time I get poked with needles I really don't even flinch anymore. Hell I can even tell them which veins feel promising and where to find the really promising, but hidden ones .. and that if they put an IV in and then ask me to lift my arms over my head my shoulders are going to pinch off the vein and turn me into a human sprinkler as the pressure in the line builds up and blows all the connections. That's always fun. Also, Iodine hard to get off a CT scanner .. just sayin'.

Oh oh oh!

Forgot to mention this earlier and it kind of needs it's own post anyway. I remember telling Mom, right about when I gave her my last 2 percocet and said "I don't need them anymore and someone else has been taking them, get them out of here!" (I have a suspicion who was taking them ... I am not pleased and for more reasons than while everyone knows certain visitors often go through their medications, actually taking the medication they find is going a little far!) It seems I also forgot to mention this to Mathew (he is currently a little hurt by this) but it really did slip my mind.

Mr. Lumpy was last measured at 2.2-2.5 centimeters (depending on which angle they took the measurement from) and had grown (not angle dependent this time. Both angles showed the same) approximately 0.2 centimeters over the past 1.5-2 years. This math puts my acquisition of Mr. Lumpy at somewhere around 11 years ago. That is of course assuming a steady rate of growth, which is not terribly likely (or so I am told) which puts the probable window for Mr. Lumpy taking up residence anywhere from 5-20 years ago.

Here is where it get really interesting.

I have had acid reflux since I was 15 years old. I have had random inexplicable shoulder pain since I was 17. I was Diagnosed with Chiari Malformation nearly 3 years ago at which point the reflux and the shoulder pain as well as the numb hands and feet and random pain in all of my limbs I had been experiencing since about age 20 was chalked up to Chiari. It made sense. These are Chiari symptoms. Especially the headache that never leaves and only gets worse, the hand/feet pain/numbness and the occasional bout of temporary paralysis that worsens in both frequency and degree over time.

Except, both acid reflux and shoulder pain are also both symptoms of cancer and with the shoulder pain specifically, a symptom of lung cancer.

Somewhere around the middle of radiation the shoulder pain went away. Completely. I can grasp my hands behind my back again. With NO pain where as previously I couldn't lift my arm to shoulder height. Added to this, I can also feel my fingers again which is both really cool and really disturbing all at the same time. Relearning these concepts of hot and cold has been a bit startling. I almost miss being able to reach into the oven and pull out the pans that have been in there, baking, for a few hours and when I picked up an ice cube a few weeks ago and it was cold it kind of scared me. On the plus side I can hold a paint brush again and doodle and paint and write with a normal pen again.

The paralysis continues, no surprise there.

I need to make this perfectly clear right now, I am not taking this as a sign that a "cure" has been achieved. I knew going in that while intending to treat for a cure was the plan, it is far more likely that a reduction in tumor size is the only positive outcome. Equally as likely is no change at all. I am not taking this as a sign that Mr. Lumpy got any smaller either. Maybe, for the time being growth has been slowed and thus the easing of the shoulder pain and perhaps the proper function of my hands.

What I am taking this as a possible sign of is the possible time frame for the acquisition of Mr. Lumpy is much, MUCH closer to 20 years ago.

I wasn't joking when I said he had been here for a loooong time and that I planned to be here for a long time to come, Mr. Lumpy continuing to reside with me or no. I see zero reason I can't expect another 20 or more years even if the combination of radiation and chemo does not achieve a cure. They are not my only options, just the logical first step. I have the next two treatments to explore already lined up. Of course I am hoping they won't be needed, but one of them makes sense to adopt simply as a lifestyle choice. If it does end up working, I will be spreading that news far and wide at every opportunity, of that I can assure you.

So, since finding out the shoulder pain is gone (which I still can't believe I didn't tell him. He'd noticed the feeling in my hand returning all on his own) has Mathew feeling a bit better about me returning to somewhat normal after treatment, I thought I would put it out there for anyone else who might find it promising. Also puts things in a much less urgent time frame, stage 3 is still not a good point to be diagnosed in, at the same time (theory backed up by my oncologists here), the progress of Mr. Lumpy being as slow as it has been is incredibly promising.