HELLO!!!!!!!!!
Jan. 3rd, 2013 02:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
genlisaeAges ago I was supposed to make a post all about how the weather sucked (seriously, snowing and we have to go OVER a mountain to get to the cancer clinic which means more snow) and how the people who are supposed to keep the roads drivable didn't believe the weather forecast and thus did NOT keep up with the roads. Then on the way back it was raining (turning everything into that wonderful slush consistency), like REALLY raining, can't see 10 meters in front of you raining ... and the van decided that was the perfect time to throw a wiper blade. all of this made even more fun by these not actually being replaceable wipers, just the rubber part ... with a lot of fiddling ... and it actually snapped off the screws that hold the upper portion of the arm on. So there I am, standing on the side of the highway with Mathew holding a flashlight (because Mathew gets this glazed look if anyone even mentions the word "car". It's okay, I have participated in enough engine changes in my life for the both of us, he's forgiven) in the pouring rain wiring the windshield wiper back on with bead wire in the hope it will hold until we get home and can get to the actual tools.
That was a long day.
Seriously.
I have pictures. Only kittens x3 and the cable to plug my phone in to my computer ended up in the bunny's pen ... in pieces. (I love my bunny. I swear. You should see what she can do to shoe laces. While you are wearing them. Fused on a molecular level.) I could email the pics to myself, sure, if I could charge my phone. Pics will have to wait.
And that was the day I was very glad to be home.
Since then it has snowed a few more times, only the road maintenance guys actually got the plows out so that was okay. And I got this damn cold which is still here and is now also a sinus infection. JOY! (also, sarcasm) which means round 2 of chemo has been delayed and my hair started falling out. Plus all the coughing (which is STILL here and not getting any less) has caused some issues. At first I thought it was just really sore muscles on the right side of my abdomen from the coughing. Then I thought maybe I had pulled a muscles because OW! Then I thought maybe herniated instead of pulled because really, OW! Then I had an epiphany.
That muscle that is really, really hurting is the one that is right over that damn cyst. The same cyst that hurts when doctors poke at it. Muscles clenching when I cough is the same as poking at it. All that pain is not actually from the muscle, but rather from the cyst, which near as I can tell is pretty sure it is being constantly poked and thus needs to constantly hurt ... and by extension grow more.
It has not been remeasured again, but just from a brief visual examination it is obvious it has grown significantly larger than the previous measurement of 19 cm (7.5 inches ... across), and it still can't be removed because I am only half way through radiation. So that is fun.
On the other hand, I AM HALFWAY THROUGH RADIATION!! Today was treatment 16! Only 14 more to go!
On the other, other hand, still 3 more rounds of chemo ... and my hair fell out.
It was a gradual falling out. Partially due to the sheer volume of hair I had to fall out. Took about a week and a half from the first time I touched my head and my hand came away clutching a handful of strands to the time the Rat-brat looked at me and said "Mom, I think it is time to shave it off now."
Yes, I left the decision up to her.
You get pics. Puffy, sniffly, cold face and all.
The little patches of stubble are the parts that hadn't fallen out yet. Those are still falling out now. Which leads to me running my hand over my itchy head and ending up with a hand covered in little hair bits and Mathew smirking and making jokes about hairy palms ... because Mathew really is perpetually 12 years old.
And to give you an example, here is an icky phone pic (prior to the bunny cord munchification) of about half way through the falling out process.
My scalp didn't used to be visible at all. Also, aside from just falling out, chemo hair hurts at the roots like your hair has been pulled back really tight all day and then you let it down, plus it gets oily, nasty and limp. That hair had just been washed, dried and combed.
No, really. :/
And now that you are all caught up ... Sims.
I am starting again. *sigh*
I can not find the problem. I pull out an entire type of CC (like decorative for example) and the catalog stops crashing the game when I click the decorative tab ... but then it will crash on another category. I think starting again is probably for the best at this point really. Before I go completely insane trying to hunt down a non-specific issue.
That was a long day.
Seriously.
I have pictures. Only kittens x3 and the cable to plug my phone in to my computer ended up in the bunny's pen ... in pieces. (I love my bunny. I swear. You should see what she can do to shoe laces. While you are wearing them. Fused on a molecular level.) I could email the pics to myself, sure, if I could charge my phone. Pics will have to wait.
And that was the day I was very glad to be home.
Since then it has snowed a few more times, only the road maintenance guys actually got the plows out so that was okay. And I got this damn cold which is still here and is now also a sinus infection. JOY! (also, sarcasm) which means round 2 of chemo has been delayed and my hair started falling out. Plus all the coughing (which is STILL here and not getting any less) has caused some issues. At first I thought it was just really sore muscles on the right side of my abdomen from the coughing. Then I thought maybe I had pulled a muscles because OW! Then I thought maybe herniated instead of pulled because really, OW! Then I had an epiphany.
That muscle that is really, really hurting is the one that is right over that damn cyst. The same cyst that hurts when doctors poke at it. Muscles clenching when I cough is the same as poking at it. All that pain is not actually from the muscle, but rather from the cyst, which near as I can tell is pretty sure it is being constantly poked and thus needs to constantly hurt ... and by extension grow more.
It has not been remeasured again, but just from a brief visual examination it is obvious it has grown significantly larger than the previous measurement of 19 cm (7.5 inches ... across), and it still can't be removed because I am only half way through radiation. So that is fun.
On the other hand, I AM HALFWAY THROUGH RADIATION!! Today was treatment 16! Only 14 more to go!
On the other, other hand, still 3 more rounds of chemo ... and my hair fell out.
It was a gradual falling out. Partially due to the sheer volume of hair I had to fall out. Took about a week and a half from the first time I touched my head and my hand came away clutching a handful of strands to the time the Rat-brat looked at me and said "Mom, I think it is time to shave it off now."
Yes, I left the decision up to her.
You get pics. Puffy, sniffly, cold face and all.
The little patches of stubble are the parts that hadn't fallen out yet. Those are still falling out now. Which leads to me running my hand over my itchy head and ending up with a hand covered in little hair bits and Mathew smirking and making jokes about hairy palms ... because Mathew really is perpetually 12 years old.
And to give you an example, here is an icky phone pic (prior to the bunny cord munchification) of about half way through the falling out process.
My scalp didn't used to be visible at all. Also, aside from just falling out, chemo hair hurts at the roots like your hair has been pulled back really tight all day and then you let it down, plus it gets oily, nasty and limp. That hair had just been washed, dried and combed.
No, really. :/
And now that you are all caught up ... Sims.
I am starting again. *sigh*
I can not find the problem. I pull out an entire type of CC (like decorative for example) and the catalog stops crashing the game when I click the decorative tab ... but then it will crash on another category. I think starting again is probably for the best at this point really. Before I go completely insane trying to hunt down a non-specific issue.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-03 10:34 pm (UTC)I am glad you are half finished with the chemicals.
Be good to yourself.
I hope the roads get more driveable soon.
Don't break your computer in frustration with your video game.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-03 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-03 11:00 pm (UTC)Smiling was not going to happen and as much as my child and my sister are telling me it looks like angry face it was actually "can I stop coughing long enough to take this pic?" face.
That is the face of concentration! ... and ow.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-04 12:17 am (UTC)I can see your eyes fully ^_^ you can't hide those pretty peepers anymore. I've never heard anyone say that about their hair after it falls out - that's a new one on me. I'm sorry :(
Oh eek about the cyst ~.~ that does not sound pleasant at all and to answer your question about coughing that you emailed me a few days ago - and LJ's been a douchenozzle and STILL being one - I'm so ready to delete my journal from there right about now - coughs are the devil incarnate and they exist to remind us that our glimpse of being over whatever ails us hasn't completely gone away - a damnable tease! :/ The meds I'm taking right now - one of the side effects is a dry cough which really acts up when I'm overly hot or thirsty so I try to make sure I'm constantly drinking which also means I'm constantly peeing! OTL
Damnit, why won't your game just let you play?! For heck's sake! :(
I want to see pics of kitties n_n I always like looking at kitties. They make me happy ^^ and yes, your bun-buns sounds remarkable.
Hang in there woman! You're in my thoughts ♥
no subject
Date: 2013-01-06 09:49 am (UTC)Lol! You know what is really funny about the hair thing? loosing my hair doesn't bother me (okay, not true, but not for the reasons you would think and that is a whole other post which I am probably about to go make) but it bother's me that my eyes are visible. With the colour changing they do and that if you can see my eyes you can see exactly what I am thinking (and very little of it is actually what I am saying ... because my mommy taught me to be nice ... sometimes) it is not usually a good thing for people to see them. Gets me in trouble. LOL
no subject
Date: 2013-01-05 12:38 am (UTC)I did a complete restart with my downloads folder last year, and it was fun at the same time it was frustrating. I hope it'll be a fun thing for you. Going through and finding your favorite things as well as lots of new stuff that people have made.
Glad you are halfway finished with the radiation and I'm sorry about your hair. You have very pretty eyes! Didn't really see them all that much before.
I hope all the other pets around the farmstead are doing good too.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-06 02:45 am (UTC)I think the part that is really annoying about starting all over again is that I just did that a few months ago hoping it would fix the last issues I was having. Obviously it created whole new ones.
Plus, super annoying, my daughter is running my old (prior to the last complete redo) downloads folder with no issues at all. She asked if she could use my back-up, I warned her it was acting up, she said that is okay, she just wanted to try it because there is stuff in there not available anywhere anymore (some of this stuff goes back to 2004). She tried it. No problems. :/
I am hopeful for this time.
Oh and happy belated birthday! :D